Wedding Jokes & Humor

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Why do men like BMWs?
They can spell it.

Why is psychoanalysis quicker for men than for women?
When it's time to go back to childhood, he's already there.

 

Why is sleeping with a man like a soap opera?
Just when it's getting interesting, they're finished until next time.

What is the difference between men and pigs?
Pigs don't turn into men when they drink.

Why do only 10% of men make it to heaven?
Because if they all went, it would be Hell!

What do Lifesavers do that a man can't?
Come in eight flavors.

How can you tell good mushrooms from bad ones?
Serve them to your mother-in-law. If she drops dead, they're good!

Men will brag that there are women waiting by the phone at this very moment for their call. Who are these women?
Women working at 900 numbers.

Why are men like popcorn?
They satisfy you, but only for a little while.

Women dream of world peace, a safe environment, and eliminating hunger.What do men dream of?
Being stuck in an elevator with the Doublemint twins. 

Why don't men often show their true feelings?
Because they don't have any.

How can you tell if a man is excited?
He's breathing.


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