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What's the similarity between a man and an uppercase Q?
They're both big fat zeroes with little dicks hanging off them.
Women are unpredictable. Before marriage, she expects a man, after marriage she
suspects him, and after death she respects him.
How many men does it take to pop popcorn?
Three. One to hold the pan and two others to show off and shake the stove.
In the beginning, God created earth and rested. Then God created man and rested.
Then God created woman. Since then, neither God nor man has rested.
Do you know the punishment for bigamy?
Two Mother-in-laws.
A person receives a telegram informing about his mother-in-law's death. It also
inquires whether she should be buried or burnt. He replies, "Don't take chances.
Burn the body and bury the ashes."
The wife wants to try the missionary position. She's on top while I'm in Africa.
Why can't little girls fart?
They don't get assholes till they're married.
Never do housework. No man ever made love to a woman because the house was
spotless.
A woman posted a personal ad that read, "Husband wanted". The next day she
received hundreds of letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have
mine!!"
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Funny Wedding One Liners
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Famous Wedding Quotes for Wedding Toasts
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below.
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