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Young Son - Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some parts of Africa a man
doesn't know his wife until he marries her?
Dad - That happens in every country, son.
Then there was a man who said, "I never knew what real happiness as
until I got married; and then it was too late."
There's a woman in
a hospital in a coma.
Her nurse notices after a few days that every time she sponge bathes the woman
around the crotch, her vital signs, according to the nearby monitor, increase
significantly.
The nurse gets the bright idea that oral sex might just provide the stimulus to
bring the woman out of her coma.
She calls the woman's husband, tells him her idea about oral sex, and he agrees.
When he arrives at the hospital, the nurse ushers him into the room, closes the
curtain around the bed, and closes the door.
Five minutes later, the man comes running out of the room screaming that all of
his wife's vital signs have plummeted to zero and she needs a doctor
immediately.
The nurse, upset that her idea had not only not worked, but seemed to be
threatening the life of the woman she had sought to save, asked the man what had
happened.
"I'm not sure, but I think she choked".
After a quarrel, a husband said
to his wife, "You know, I was a fool
when I married you." She replied, "Yes, dear, but I was in love and
didn't notice."
"The trouble with being the best man at a
wedding is
that you never
get to prove it."
Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second
marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.
If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to every
word you say,
talk in your sleep.
You know the honeymoon is pretty much over when you start to go out
with the boys on Wednesday nights, and so does she.
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Make sure to check out our
Funny Wedding One Liners
and
Famous Wedding Quotes for Wedding Toasts
pages as well as other related wedding speech articles
below.
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