I went to the County Fair. They had one of those “Believe it or not?” shows. They had a man born with a penis and a brain.
Husband: “Shall we try a different position tonight?”
Wife: “That’s a good idea…. you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart.”
What’s the fastest way to a man’s heart?
Through his chest with a sharp knife
Why do men have a hole in their penis?
So they can think with an open mind.
What’s a man’s idea of a romantic evening?
A candlelit football stadium.
What do you have when you have two little balls in your hand?
A man’s undivided attention.
When you want a man to play with you, wear a full-length black nightgown with buttons all over it. Sure it’s uncomfortable, but it makes you look just like his remote control.
What are two reasons why men don’t mind their own business?
1. No mind.
2. No business.
If men can run the world, why can’t they stop wearing neckties? How intelligent is it to start the day by tying a little noose around your neck?
Why do bald guy’s have holes in their pockets?
So they can run their fingers through their hair.
What do you call a woman who can suck a golf ball through 50 feet of garden hose?
Men are always whining about how we’re suffocating them. Personally, I think if you can hear them whining, you’re not pressing hard enough on the pillow!