Why do women pay more attention to their appearance than improving their minds?
Because most men are stupid, but few are blind.
What do you call a woman without an asshole?
Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring and good-looking?
Because all those men already have boyfriends.
Why do so many women fake orgasms?
Because so many men fake foreplay.
Why did the tribes in Israel wander the desert for forty years?
Because even back then, men wouldn’t stop to ask directions.
Why do men tend to name their penises?
They want to be on a first name basis with anything that makes 95% of their decisions for them.
How is an ex-husband like an inflamed appendix?
It caused you a lot of pain, and after it was removed you found out you didn’t need it anyway!
What do men and pantyhose have in common?
They either cling, run or don’t fit right in the crotch!
Husband: “Want a quickie?”
Wife: “As opposed to what?”
How can you tell if your husband is dead?
The sex is the same, but you get the remote.
How do we know men invented maps?
Who else would make an inch into a mile?
Why do men want to marry virgins?
They can’t stand criticism.