Man: “I know how to please a woman.”
Woman: “Then please leave me alone.”
At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, “Aren’t you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?” The other replied, “Yes, I am, I married the wrong man.”
After a quarrel, a husband said to his wife, “You know, I was a fool when I married you.” The wife replied, “Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn’t notice.”
What’s the difference between a man & a chimpanzee?
One is hairy, smelly & always scratching its ass, and the other is a chimpanzee.
What do you call a handcuffed man?
Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
Because a woman who can’t even afford a washing machine will never be able to support you.
How many men does it take to put the toilet seat down?
Nobody knows. It’s never happened.
Why did God create women?
He realized he made a mistake the first time.
What has eight arms and an I.Q. of 60?
Four men watching a football game.
Why do men talk so dirty?
So they can wash their mouth out with beer.
What’s a man’s idea of helping with the housework?
Lifting his legs so she can vacuum.
What’s the difference between a man and childbirth?
One is an almost unbearable pain and the other involves having a baby.