Wedding Jokes

Man: “I know how to please a woman.”
Woman: “Then please leave me alone.”

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At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, “Aren’t you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?” The other replied, “Yes, I am, I married the wrong man.”

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After a quarrel, a husband said to his wife, “You know, I was a fool when I married you.” The wife replied, “Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn’t notice.”

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What’s the difference between a man & a chimpanzee?
One is hairy, smelly & always scratching its ass, and the other is a chimpanzee.

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What do you call a handcuffed man?
Trustworthy.

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Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
Because a woman who can’t even afford a washing machine will never be able to support you.

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How many men does it take to put the toilet seat down?
Nobody knows. It’s never happened.

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Why did God create women?
He realized he made a mistake the first time.

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What has eight arms and an I.Q. of 60?
Four men watching a football game.

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Why do men talk so dirty?
So they can wash their mouth out with beer.

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What’s a man’s idea of helping with the housework?
Lifting his legs so she can vacuum.

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What’s the difference between a man and childbirth?
One is an almost unbearable pain and the other involves having a baby.

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