Why do men wear hair gel and aftershave?
Because they’re often under increasing pressure from a society which over simplifies the process of ascertaining ones worth and attractiveness by reducing someone down to individual physical attributes OR is it because they’re ugly and they smell bad?
How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
Rename the mail folder to “instruction manuals.”
What’s the similarity between a man and an uppercase Q?
They’re both big fat zeroes with little dicks hanging off them.
Women are unpredictable. Before marriage, she expects a man, after marriage she suspects him, and after death she respects him.
How many men does it take to pop popcorn?
Three. One to hold the pan and two others to show off and shake the stove.
In the beginning, God created earth and rested. Then God created man and rested. Then God created woman. Since then, neither God nor man has rested.
Do you know the punishment for bigamy?
A person receives a telegram informing about his mother-in-law’s death. It also inquires whether she should be buried or burnt. He replies, “Don’t take chances. Burn the body and bury the ashes.”
The wife wants to try the missionary position. She’s on top while I’m in Africa.
Why can’t little girls fart?
They don’t get assholes till they’re married.
Never do housework. No man ever made love to a woman because the house was spotless.
A woman posted a personal ad that read, “Husband wanted”. The next day she received hundreds of letters. They all said the same thing: “You can have mine!!”