Wedding Jokes

Why are married women heavier than single women?
Single women come home, see what’s in the fridge and go to bed. Married women come home, see what’s in the bed and go to the fridge.

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What’s the difference between a boyfriend and a husband?
About 30 pounds.

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Why does the bride always wear white?
Because it’s always good for the dishwasher to match the fridge and stove.

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What do you instantly know about a well-dressed man?
His wife is good at picking out clothes.

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The honeymoon is over when the husband calls home to say he’ll be late for dinner and the answering machine says it is in the microwave.

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A little boy asked his father, “daddy, how much does it cost to get married?”
Father replied, “I don’t know, son, I’m still paying for it.”

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Grooms, once you get married remember that when you have a discussion with your future wife, always remember to get the last two words in: “Yes dear”.

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Married life is very frustrating. in the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. in the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens. in the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.

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Wife: do you want dinner?
Husband: sure, what are my choices?
Wife: yes and no.

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Just think, if it weren’t for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had
no faults at all.

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According to the latest surveys, when making love, most married men
fantasize that their wives aren’t fantasizing.

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Personally, I think one of the greatest things about marriage is that as both
husband and father, i can say anything i want to around the house. of course,
no one pays the least bit of attention.

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