A woman was telling her friend, “it is i who made my husband a millionaire.”
“and what was he before you married him?” asked the friend. the woman
replied, “a billionaire.”
Then there was a man who said, “I never knew what real happiness as until I
got married; and then it was too late.”
When a woman steals your husband, there is no better revenge than to let her
“My wife doesn’t know what she wants.”
“You’re lucky. My wife does.”
If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to every word you
say, talk in your sleep.
“How is your wife getting along on her reducing diet?”
“Fine. She vanished last night.”
My wife is always talking about a trip to Europe.
I have no objections – I let her talk.
Why did you hit your husband with a chair?”
“I couldn’t lift the table.”
“Why don’t you give your husband a divorce?”
“What, I have lived with him for ten years and now I should make him happy?”
“Has there been any insanity in your family?”
“Yes, doctor. My husband thinks he’s the boss.”
There was this woman who had an artist paint a portrait of her covered with the most amazingly beautiful and expensive jewels. Her explanation – “If I die and my husband re-marries, I want his next wife to go crazy looking for the jewels.”