On the morning after their wedding night, the groom called down to their hotel’s room service to order breakfast. for himself he ordered one pound of bacon, twelve fried eggs, and two gallons of orange juice to restore his fluids. for his wife he ordered a plain head of lettuce. the clerk was surprised by the latter and said, “won’t your wife be wanting anything else?” “not at this point,” the groom replied, “i’m conducting an experiment to see if she eats like a rabbit, too.”
Memory is what tells a man his wedding anniversary was yesterday.
An unmarried man has no buttons on his shirt. A married man has no shirt.
During a heated spat over finances the husband said, “well, if you’d learn to
cook and were willing to clean this place, we could fire the maid.” the wife,
fuming, shotback, “oh yeah??? well, if you’d learn how to make love, we
could fire the chauffeur and the gardener.”
At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, “aren’t you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?”
The other replied, “yes, i am, i married the wrong man.”
How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
We don’t know – it’s never happened.
What is the only time a man will think about a candlelight dinner?
When the power goes off.
“What do use for washing dishes?”
“Oh, I tried many things but found my husband best.”
After a quarrel, a husband said to his wife, “you know, i was a fool when i
married you.” she replied, “yes, dear, but i was in love and didn’t notice.”
The bride, upon her engagement, went to her mother and said, “i’ve found a
man just like father!” her mother replied, “so what do you want from me,