Wedding Jokes

How do you get a man to do sit-ups?
Put the remote control between his toes.

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Why were men given larger brains than dogs?
So they wouldn’t hump women’s legs at cocktail parties.

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Why does it take 1 million sperm to fertilize one egg?
They won’t stop to ask directions!

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Did you hear about the baby born with male and female organs?
A penis *and* a brain.

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What is the one thing that all men at singles bars have in common?
They’re married.

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What is the only time a man thinks about a candlelight dinner?
When the power goes off.

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What do you instantly know about a well-dressed man?
His wife is good at picking out clothes.

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Why is a man’s pee yellow and his sperm white?
So he can tell if he is coming or going.

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What do ceramic tile and men have in common?
If you lay them right the first time, you can walk on them for life!

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What do you call a man who expects to have sex on the second date?
Slow.

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What is that insensitive bit at the base of the penis called?
The man.

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Why are men like commercials?
You can’t believe a word they say.

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