How do you get a man to do sit-ups?
Put the remote control between his toes.
Why were men given larger brains than dogs?
So they wouldn’t hump women’s legs at cocktail parties.
Why does it take 1 million sperm to fertilize one egg?
They won’t stop to ask directions!
Did you hear about the baby born with male and female organs?
A penis *and* a brain.
What is the one thing that all men at singles bars have in common?
What is the only time a man thinks about a candlelight dinner?
When the power goes off.
What do you instantly know about a well-dressed man?
His wife is good at picking out clothes.
Why is a man’s pee yellow and his sperm white?
So he can tell if he is coming or going.
What do ceramic tile and men have in common?
If you lay them right the first time, you can walk on them for life!
What do you call a man who expects to have sex on the second date?
What is that insensitive bit at the base of the penis called?
Why are men like commercials?
You can’t believe a word they say.