Wedding Jokes

What is the difference between a single 40-year-old woman and a single 40-year-old man?
The 40-year-old woman thinks often of having children and the man thinks often about dating them.

vignette02

Man: “I want to give myself to you.”
Woman: “Sorry, I don’t accept cheap gifts.”

vignette02

What’s the difference between pregnant women and men?
One has morning sickness, the other has morning stiffness.

vignette02

Why do women live longer than men?
Someone has to stick around and clean up the mess after them.

vignette02

What do you do if your boyfriend walks out?
You shut the door.

vignette02

How is a man like the weather?
Nothing can be done to change either one of them.

vignette02

What would get your man to put down the toilet seat?
A sex-change operation.

vignette02

Why is food better than men?
Because you don’t have to wait an hour for seconds.

vignette02

How do men sort their laundry?
“Filthy” and “Filthy but Wearable”.

vignette02

There was a lady who said, “I never knew what happiness was until I got married… and then it was too late!”

vignette02

Did you hear about the man who won the gold medal at the Olympics?
He had it bronzed.

vignette02

How do you grow your own dope?
Plant a man.

vignette02