Wedding Jokes

How are men like noodles?
They’re always in hot water, they lack taste, and they need dough.

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How is being at a singles bar different than being at the circus?
At the circus the clowns don’t talk.

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What do you call a man who has lost 99% of his brain?
A widower.

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What is a man’s view of safe sex?
A padded headboard.

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What is the definition of “making love”?
Something a woman does while a guy is screwing her.

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How do men exercise on the beach?
By sucking in their stomach every time a bikini goes by.

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What do men consider foreplay?
Half an hour of begging.

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What’s the difference between getting a divorce and getting circumcised?
When you get a divorce, you get rid of the whole prick!

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Guy, naked in front of the mirror: ‘Two inches more, and I would be king!”
Wife: ‘Two inches less, and you’d be queen!”

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Why don’t women blink during foreplay?
They don’t have enough time.

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How do some men define Roe vs. Wade?
Two ways to cross a river.

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What is gross stupidity?
144 men in one room.

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