Wedding Jokes

Where is the best place in a book store to find a man who is handsome, a good lover, and a stimulating partner?
In the pages of a romance novel.

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How does a man show that he is planning for the future?
He buys 2 cases of beer instead of one.

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What food describes most men?
Jerky.

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How does a man show that he is planning for the future?
He buys 2 cases of beer instead of one.

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What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.

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What should you give a man who has everything?
A woman to show him how to work it.

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Man: “Haven’t we met before?”
Woman: “Yes, I’m the receptionist at the VD Clinic.”

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Why do men like masturbation?
It’s sex with someone they love.

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How do you scare a man?
Sneak up behind him and start throwing rice.

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How is a man like a used car?
Both are easy to get, cheap and unreliable.

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Why are men and spray paint alike?
One squeeze and they’re all over you.

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Why would women be better off if men treated them like cars?
At least then they would get a little attention every 6 months or 50,000 miles, whichever came first.

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