Did you hear about the new “morning after pill” for men?
It changes their blood type.
Why do men snore when they lay on their backs?
Because their balls fall over their asshole and they vapor-lock.
How many men does it take to shingle a roof?
It depends on how thin you slice them.
Man: “If I could just see you naked, I’d die happy.”
Woman: “Yeah, but if I saw you naked, I’d probably die laughing.”
Man: “Your body is like a temple.”
Woman: “Sorry, there are no services today.”
Why do bachelors like smart women?
What is it when a woman talks nasty to a man?
$3.99 a minute.
Why do men call women birds?
Because of all the worms we pick up.
What do men and diapers have in common?
They are always on your ass and full of shit.
How is Colonel Sanders like the typical male?
All he’s concerned with is legs, breasts and thighs.
What do you do with a bachelor who thinks he’s God’s gift?
Husband: “Will you love me when I grow old and overweight?”
Wife: “Yes I do.”