Funny Wedding One Liners

Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends. You order what you want, then when you see what the other fellow has, you wish you had ordered that.

vignette02

It’s not true that married men live longer than single men. It only seems longer.

vignette02

I haven’t spoken to my wife for 18 months–I don’t like to interrupt her.

vignette02

A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished.

vignette02

If a man speaks in the forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong?

vignette02

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

vignette02

Why is marriage is like a violin? After all the beautiful music is over, the strings are still attached.

vignette02

Marriage is love. Love is blind. Marriage is an institution. Therefore, marriage is an institution for the blind.

vignette02

Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his Bachelor’s Degree and the woman gets her Masters.

vignette02

Marriage is a thing, which puts a ring on a woman’s finger … and two under the man’s eyes.

vignette02

Marriage certificate is just another name for a work permit.

vignette02

My mother-in-law told me exercise helps her burn off the calories. I told her a flamethrower would be quicker.

vignette02