Funny Wedding One Liners
Marriages are made in heaven. But so again, are thunder and lightning.
I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.
If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep.
Marriage is grand, divorce is about 10 grand.
Husband to friend: Do you know what it means to me to go home to a really good meal in a clean and tidy home?
Friend: You’ve gone to the wrong house?
I’ve never forgotten the day I got married – and don’t think I haven’t tried hard!
The only thing my husband and I have in common is we got married on the same day!
It was love at first sight. Then I took a second look!
A happy marriage is a matter of give and take; the husband gives and the wife takes.
Give a man a free hand and he’ll run it all over you.
Shotgun wedding = A case of wife or death.
What’s the difference between a man and a chimpanzee? One is hairy, smelly and is always scratching his ass… and the other is a chimpanzee.
The reason I turned down an extramarital affair is because my wife found the key to my gun cabinet.