Funny Wedding One Liners

Scientists have just discovered a food that diminishes a woman’s sex-drive by 90% … It’s called wedding cake

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Just think, if it weren’t for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.

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A man inserted an ‘ ad’ in the classifieds: ‘Wife wanted’ . Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: ‘You can have mine.’

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Just think, if it weren’t for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.

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So many men – so many reasons not to sleep with any of them.

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A husband said to his wife, ‘No, I don’t hate your relatives. In fact, I like your mother-in-law better than I like mine.’

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A man meets a genie. The genie tells him he can have whatever he wants, provided that his mother-in-law gets double. The man thinks for a moment and then says, ‘OK, give me a million dollars and beat me half to death.’

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How do most men define marriage?
A very expensive way to get our laundry done free.

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Marriage is an institution where two people come together to joint solve the problems they never had before they got married.

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Getting married is like being hanged; you tie the knot, the bottom drops out, and soon your life is over!

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When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: either the car is new or the wife.

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At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, ‘Aren’t you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?’ The other replied, ‘Yes, I am, I married the wrong man.’