Funny Wedding One Liners

The most effective way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once.

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I still miss my ex-husband, but my aim is improving.

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What’s a man’s definition of a romantic evening? Sex.

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Ronnie Corbett: Do think marriage is a lottery?
Ronnie Barker: No. With a lottery you do have a slight chance.

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Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.

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So many men – so many reasons not to sleep with any of them.

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If they can put a man on the moon – they should be able to put them all there.

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Tell him you’re not his type – you have a pulse.

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Never let your man’s mind wander – its too little to be let out alone.

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Go for younger men. You might as well – they never mature anyway.

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Never marry a man for money. You’ll have to earn every penny.

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Men are all the same – they just have different faces so you can tell them apart.

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Definition of a bachelor: a man who has missed the opportunity to make some woman miserable.

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